Yo, we are less than two months out from one of the biggest obstacles I have ever attempted. Thinking about that five days ago sent me straight into a panic. Today, after having a great training week and truly reflecting on the last five months, I’ve gone from panicked to…less panicked, but a nice concoction of anxious/nervous/excited.
Remembering my first day of swimming—400 yards was an extreme challenge. I could swim 25 yards at once. That was it. I was intimidated as hell, I was terrified of drowning, and honestly, for the first two months of learning to swim, it consumed all of my thoughts. The fear of drowning and being time-capped motivated me to wake up three times per week to swim at 4:30am. It motivated me to push myself. It motivated me to get to this point, where at 8ish weeks out, I’m not worried about those things. I know anything can happen on any given day, but I’ve done what I can do to prepare. Let’s gooooo.
The bike. I was scared to even turn when changing directions. Turning on different roads, I was going (shit you not) 1 mph every turn. But now? I’m doing 28 mile bikes after swims in crazy amounts of wind…and LAUGHING during it. I don’t have aerobars. I don’t have clip-in shoes and pedals. But here I am…still getting it done.
The run? I’ve proven that I am capable of fighting through any amount of pain or mental shit and get the job done. I was terrified of not being about not bouncing back after Glass City. But if you’ve seen me at the gym, seen me swimming at the Y, or watched as I pushed through my practice tris on the weekend the past two weeks, you’ll see I’m finding it.
During a hot and windy practice tri on Saturday morning, I actually thought to myself, “I got this. I actually think I got this.” Still nervous? Yes. Gaining confidence? Yassss. Monday I did Murph with Amanda. I ran both the miles, but we did 50 ring rows, 100 pushups, and 150 air squats each. What a cool event—I felt so lucky to be part of it. Tuesday was a bike indoors (because #ohioweather). Wednesday was a long swim (1900 yards) with some speed intervals mixed in, along with two miles of speed work running. Thursday? My favorite gym workout of the week…cardio hell. I get to hit my practice tri Friday after school so I can do a roofing project this weekend (yeah, I’m a jack of all trades…wife me up).
I’ve been so fortunate to go through this process and learn how much further I can push myself. Before JG3, before Ironman, before any of this…I never would have found that. I wouldn’t have found that drive. I would have stayed average. I would have been stuck. But I found out there is so much more I’m capable of. I said it a few weeks ago, and I’ll say it again—Why wouldn’t I allow myself the most happiness and go as far as I can? Ya’ll have read or heard about what a struggle this has been. I’m not sugarcoating anything. I’m just finally freaking ready.